Now sleepily I lie, and wearily, drearily sigh With heavy eyelids, breaths, and limbs I dream. I’m floating down the Thames upon a stream of boats—But hark! Is that? A baby’s cry. Oh no! I sigh and moan and grip The bedsheets up around my head. I really want to stay in bed, But out I tumble—up!—and trip Into pajamas waiting there, Beside the bed, upon the chair, Where in the dark no need to see Have I, for it is certainty That I’m on call each night to feed My baby girl. I’m all she needs.
Sustenance
Spirited solicitude Swinish suckling Small shape Soft smells Sustained swallows Smooth strokes Serene soothing Submissive surrender Safe snuggles Sudden smile Sleepy satiety Satisfied sighs Sweet slumber
Protected: An Exceptional Mom
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Failure
You can’t do this, he said to me. (Or was it I?) You’ll never be able to do this. I tried to argue back, But the words turned over and over in my mind. It was an embarrassing failure for one such as I. Just give up. What’s the point? The proposition was tempting. You’ll lose your family over this. It seemed a logical end. You’re a failure. I believed him. Look at what you’re costing your family. They’re better off without you. You can’t do this. You’re alone. I tried to push through, Carrying on with my day and my tasks, But I ended up in the middle of the bed, Sitting and sobbing and wishing for a way […]
A TCK Mom’s Dilemma
They have two names, dear little one, These things and sounds and feelings. Which shall I teach you, little one? All that which from my native tongue Holds for me depth of meaning? Or that which, foreign though to me Communicates here easily?
Eshet chayil: The Capable Wife
–Originally published on FWB21 January 22, 2013– Ladies and gentlemen, here is a Hebrew phrase you need to know: eshet chayil. I lived 30 years without ever hearing these words, and now they’ve come up multiple times in different places in the span of a week. Here’s what I’ve learned: The Hebrew eshet chayil is translated, variously, as “a wife of noble character,” “a virtuous and capable wife,” “a worthy woman,” and “an excellent wife.” It’s found in Proverbs 31, which goes on to describe this kind of woman. (Please stop and read it!) The Hebrew phrase is of particular interest to me for three reasons. First, eshet chayil intrigues me because of its etymology. Chayil is used in the […]
Jenna
Jenna is by far one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met–on both the inside and out. Little did I know that the first time I met her would also be the last this side of heaven. A mutual friend had called me just days before to ask if I’d be willing to do a shoot with Jenna before she started chemo and lost all her hair–she had just been diagnosed with a rather rare form of stomach cancer and she had difficult months ahead of her. When she and her mother and our mutual friend arrived at our apartment, I was stunned by Jenna’s beauty and gentle grace. Lovely, but unassuming, Jenna happily answered our questions about her […]
Morning Light
Frozen ground beneath the stars Lonely stillness near and far Darkness over home and hearth But then the sun arose Casting rays of gold and amber Waking life e’en in December Warming, thawing all of nature In the sun. Give thanks. ————— All was war and cold and hard Darkness lay in each man’s heart Hopelessness and death our part But then the Son arose Waking man to hope and life In His love and in His light Death no more our dreadful plight. In the Son, give thanks.
On Blueberries
My boys eat blueberries like candy. I’d rather they eat blueberries than candy. We buy them in large bags, freshly frozen, and we pour them liberally, summer’s bounty in a mid-winter bowl. One child— he who likes sameness and predictability— asks for them daily. For health and possibility and love, I oblige. As I thaw another handful under the cool flow of water, I remember the prick of bushes, sweetness wafting on the air, and a steep descent. The heat, the sweat, the weight, the work— All for a small pail of goodness To be picked through and washed and savored. I am suddenly aware of our family’s wealth And our poverty. Even as I rejoice over the goodness I […]
Journal Entry – Sunday, February 9, 2014
The dull, flat grayness of this wet morning is broken by a strand of pale warmth across the sky, a symbol of God’s grace to me. What would otherwise be a sad, discouraging scene is transformed into a thing of beauty. It’s not a glorious sunrise like those I’ve seen of late; the clouds are much too heavy for that. It’s not a rainy day, either (because I do love a good rainy day). No, today is just bleak and cold and still. There’s nothing much to mark it as any kind of special day–it just is. But God’s grace is there, and that gives it a beauty all its own. Today is day 10 of sick bay at our […]