Marriage is like turning a marathon into a 3-legged race. I’m running along at my own pace, eyes fixed on the goal, when I sense someone running beside me. I look over and see you running toward the same goal at about the same pace. We fall in step and decide that running this race is better as a team, so we stop and bind ourselves to one another hand and foot. At first we’re just happy for the companionship, and even though we’re bumbling along trying to find a new stride, the challenges are fun. But then the binds grow tight and chafe, cutting deep into the flesh. Indeed, the binds have fused our flesh together so it’s impossible […]
A Teachable Moment
I could see the worry in his eyes as he sat buckled into his car seat. I closed the door and climbed into the driver’s seat for the short commute to school. My six-year-old had just been hit with the sobering news that his older brother’s classmate lost her dad last week. “How did he die?” He asked the question in earnest, and when I was slow to respond, he quickly asked again. Behind the question, I could hear wheels turning, trying to comprehend that the death of a parent is a real possibility in the world he lives in. I could hear his unspoken questions, too. Could that happen to you? What if you or Dad died? Am I […]
I am Peter
I wish I was like John. He was the disciple who referred to himself as the “one whom Jesus loved.” You often find him resting on Jesus’ chest. Unfortunately, I am more like Peter: wishy-washy, prone to angry outbursts, susceptible to speaking before thinking. Part of our reading during Easter week each year is the denial of Peter. He is a wonderful character to study. Peter bounces from hero to charlatan, from genius to fool, and from faithful to faithless. I find it fascinating because I find myself in the twists and turns of his story. Zooming out on Peter’s adventures, we see a yo-yo effect: When Jesus thins the crowd by talking about drinking His blood and eating His body, […]
A Little Lesson from Pond Scum
Every day on the drive to school, I pass a little pond. Nestled between two small hills and partially hidden by trees, I doubt many passersby notice it, but the little body of water catches my eye daily. What first drew my attention was not the pond’s size nor location, but the smooth green layer of algae that covers it like a velvety green carpet beckoning my bare feet. I doubt any interior designer has ever used that shade of green to decorate a space, though. Yes, I’d like that in scummy green, please. Some weeks after I first began to notice the pond, a hard rain came in the midst of a big storm. The little pond’s green robe […]
Intentionally Awesome Date Night: Personality
It’s time for our FREE Intentionally Awesome Date Night resource of the week! We’re all unique–and our uniqueness can cause varying degrees of compatibility or friction with the people around us. This is no less true in marriage. Understanding personality types can be a bridge in conflict and help us to be more patient with one another. This week you and your spouse will take a free personality test, then our worksheet will guide your conversation as you discover more about each other’s quirks and gifts. Understand more about the person you love! Click this button for your FREE pdf workbook! Personality Come to a better understanding of yourself and each other–and strengthen your marriage in the process. Happy […]
A Busy Mom’s Simple Day-Starter
As a mom of four littles, I don’t get a lot of time to myself. That’s a problem, because I need time to myself in order to renew my mind and prepare my heart for the day. Nobody likes the ugly momma who comes out when I don’t. Many of the methods of spiritual renewal I’ve used require both time and sustained mental presence–two things sorely lacking in this season of life when disrupted sleep and constant needs eat up what little margin I have. Despite my whole-hearted attempts, I’ve often felt behind, on spiritual defense in the battle for my mind. Once my brain starts taking those well-worn paths of negativity, my best hope is to struggle hard against […]
Intentionally Awesome Date Night: 10-10
Yes, ladies and gentlemen! It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for… Here’s our FREE Intentionally Awesome Date Night resource of the week! What would you do if you had $10 million and 10 years to live? How would your spouse answer that question? It’s time to dream! Today’s worksheet guides your conversation as you dive into this fun scenario with your spouse. Click this button for your FREE pdf worksheet! 10-10 This may be a fictional scenario, but it reveals a lot about your values and priorities. Find out what energizes your marriage! Happy Dating! In case you missed it, you may want to go back and check out our original series of posts on […]
Intentionally Awesome Date Night: 25 Things
Pull out the candles and put the kids to bed early. It’s time for our FREE Intentionally Awesome Date Night resource of the week! The purpose of date night is to connect and build toward a stronger marriage. While this exercise may not appear on the surface to be a marriage-building exercise, it brings perspective in a way that can protect your relationship during moments of temptation. Today’s workbook is called 25Things. What would it cost you if you were unfaithful to your spouse? If you’ve never given it much thought, maybe you should. Your list might surprise you. Click this button for your FREE pdf workbook! 25 Things Count the cost together and reaffirm your commitment to each […]
On Community, from The Grapes of Wrath
I snagged a copy of Steinbeck’s famous novel The Grapes of Wrath at a used bookstore a few weeks ago. Because we recently watched Ken Burns’ documentary on the Dust Bowl, Mick picked up the book while the images were fresh in hopes of being able to read it in context. He shared this rich passage with me, and I immediately saw parallels for what Christian community can be as we embrace this shared life together. Enjoy. The cars of the migrant people crawled out of the side roads onto the great cross-country highway, and they took the migrant way to the West. In the daylight they scuttled like bugs to the westward; and as the dark caught them, they […]
Christian Sex
–Originally published on FWB21 August 1, 2011– Someone was recently telling her friends about a website to which I introduced her that deals with sex-related topics from a Christian perspective. The conversation went something like this: “It has lots of great information on how to have great Christian… marriages.” Laughter. “What?” “I thought you were going to say great Christian sex.” More laughter. I’m sorry, but I still don’t see why this is funny. Why can’t the terms “Christian” and “great sex” be used together? After all, shouldn’t sex within the bounds God designed be the best sex there is? Think about it: two people, wholly committed, completely unashamed, selflessly giving of themselves for the pleasure of each other with […]