Part 2: The Ground Rules Now that you’ve created space for a date, you’ve got to lay some ground rules. Agree upon these rules before you ever start your date. Set expectations up front. If you have to, put them in writing and sign them! Hold each other accountable. Rules for Dating Your Spouse: 1) Unplug Turn off notifications and put all devices away, out of sight. The only call or text that should get through is one from the babysitter in case of emergency (unless you have someone close by who can handle emergencies or you’re staying home, then turn off your devices altogether). How many dates have we spent just staring at our phones half the time? Unplugging […]
How to Make Date Nights Awesome, Part 1
Connecting as a couple while parenting in this day and age can be tough. At the end of busy days juggling work and kids, marriage can easily fall to the back burner, crowded out by constant pressing needs. We can spend all our time and resources on important things and have nothing left for each other. But marriage is the most important relationship God has given us! When we nurture it, we’re more prepared to face the constant bombardment of other needs that come our way. We’re in a season where we don’t get much time together during the week, so we have to be really intentional with what little time we do have. Date nights are a life line […]
On Community, from The Grapes of Wrath
I snagged a copy of Steinbeck’s famous novel The Grapes of Wrath at a used bookstore a few weeks ago. Because we recently watched Ken Burns’ documentary on the Dust Bowl, Mick picked up the book while the images were fresh in hopes of being able to read it in context. He shared this rich passage with me, and I immediately saw parallels for what Christian community can be as we embrace this shared life together. Enjoy. The cars of the migrant people crawled out of the side roads onto the great cross-country highway, and they took the migrant way to the West. In the daylight they scuttled like bugs to the westward; and as the dark caught them, they […]
Eshet chayil: The Capable Wife
–Originally published on FWB21 January 22, 2013– Ladies and gentlemen, here is a Hebrew phrase you need to know: eshet chayil. I lived 30 years without ever hearing these words, and now they’ve come up multiple times in different places in the span of a week. Here’s what I’ve learned: The Hebrew eshet chayil is translated, variously, as “a wife of noble character,” “a virtuous and capable wife,” “a worthy woman,” and “an excellent wife.” It’s found in Proverbs 31, which goes on to describe this kind of woman. (Please stop and read it!) The Hebrew phrase is of particular interest to me for three reasons. First, eshet chayil intrigues me because of its etymology. Chayil is used in the […]
Minimalism
Minimalism is an economy of less to make adequate space for most important things.
Pulling My Own Wagon
–Originally published on FWB21 March 27, 2011– I’m currently reading Boundaries with Kids, by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. It’s chock full of really great stuff on child-rearing from a biblical perspective. I’ll spare you an endless string of great quotes and highlight one section that stood out to me in relation to my post “Log Extraction Is Painful” One of the hallmarks of maturity is taking responsibility for one’s own life, desires, and problems. … Mature adults see themselves as problem solvers instead of trying to find someone else to blame or to solve problems for them. p. 74 What does that have to with my previous post? Everything. “Maturity is taking responsibility… instead of trying to find […]
Log Extraction
–Originally published on FWB21 March 20, 2011– I don’t like to admit when I’m wrong. Let me rephrase that: I absolutely HATE having to admit when I’m wrong. Every ounce of my being fights it as I angrily look for any excuse that it’s the other person’s fault. Being in the wrong hurts my pride, and that’s quite a tender spot. Well, today was one of those days. It started with a harsh comment from my dear husband that put me in a tiff for hours. I huffed and I puffed and I fumed to myself about all the reasons that it wasn’t my fault, and all the things I was right about, and all the ways he was the […]
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
–Originally published on FWB21 March 18, 2011– Did you know that Aretha Franklin’s famous song “Respect” was written by a man? Otis Redding, to be exact. The following lyrics were lauded by the feminist movement when sung by a woman, but listen to this man’s words pleading for respect and recognition from a woman: (oo) All I’m askin’ (oo) Is for a little respect when you come home (just a little bit) Hey baby (just a little bit) when you get home R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me Has quite a different ring to it, huh? A man pleading with his wife for a little respect. I found this interesting tidbit in Dr. Emerson Eggerich’s book Love and […]
Who Will You Be Today?
–Originally published on FWB21 April 19, 2011– My dear husband said something profound recently. He told a friend, “You know, I never really was a reader either… until I started reading.” The funny thing is, he is absolutely right. When we met, Mick wasn’t a reader–I was. He certainly did not share my love for books, and never had. After 3 years of Bible college and 2 years of graduate studies, though, my dear husband has become an avid reader. As he’s had to read more, he’s become a faster reader, his comprehension has improved, and he has started to enjoy feeding his mind through books. He now reads more than I do! If you were to ask me to […]
Training to… Suffer?
–Originally published on FWB21 August 17, 2012– World-class athletes train for intense competition by pushing themselves on a daily basis, denying themselves the indulgences that make them sluggish and weak, and focusing on the prize that motivates them to win. In the same way, if we believers are following Christ in obedience, our daily walk will prepare us for… suffering. Jesus warned us that we would suffer if we follow Him. The first epistle of Peter is in itself a theology of suffering. But how does our daily walk with Christ train us to suffer? The one who willingly fasts on a regular basis is prepared to face hunger or poverty with a spirit of grace when it is forced […]